As the day winds down. 

I just can’t believe we will be with our baby girl at this time tomorrow. She is going to be so perfect. We have waited 36 weeks for this. Since the day after the anatomy scan, it has been hard. I’ve been on 5 major restrictions since then and let me just say, I’m ready to be CPP free then restriction free, when I’m finally cleared. 

Tomorrow is going to give me some anxiety but it’s really all out of my hands. Everyone in that room is there for baby and I. When I talked to the nurse on the phone, my husband told me to ask her could he watch it at all, she said we normally don’t want them to because they think they are going to be fine with it but then they aren’t and they faint. I said okay I figured I would just ask for his sake 😂 my husband just looked at me crazy. It was great. 

I’m so excited to know that some of the stuff on my birth plan, will work out because the lady on the phone told me a few things that I had put on my birth plan because they mean a lot to me. 

I don’t know what tomorrow will bring but I really just hope it all goes perfect and baby and I come out perfectly healthy. I still can’t wrap my head around the fact that we will be meeting our baby girl tomorrow. My journey finally will be over with cpp but just because it’s over doesn’t mean I’ll just forget about it. Cpp is one thing that I will never forget because it’s been rough but it has shown me that I really am stronger than I think I am. 

I am strong & brave. I will get through this. 

One more day. 

I had my meeting with my doula today. We did my birth wishes. I was happy to get that done. I got to spend a good hour with her and that really helped me.  

I had to do a pre registration over the phone so tomorrow it will be easy sailing for that. I also got to talk to a nurse on the labor floor. She explained everything about tomorrow.  From the time we get there, through surgery and after surgery. Knowing what will happen, makes me feel so much better. 

She said that the blood bank will have my type of blood saved for me, just in case it’s needed. That also made me feel so much better. Hopefully it won’t be needed and everything goes good. 

I went to my last ob appointment and it was bitter sweet. People are telling my husband and I congratulations today and it really makes things feel way real for me.

Right now, my husband and I are in our living room, eating popsicles, relaxing. Our girls are both taking a nap. We will be taking them to my parents house around 5. It will be hars to be away from them until (hopefully) only Saturday. We have never been away from them this long. They will have fun with my parents so I don’t think they will miss us as much as we will miss them. 

We have a few things we need to get done tonight, then we can just sit back and relax.  

Good news. 

Everything went good at the hospital today. Now just to get through TONIGHT, TOMORROW & then THE DRIVE TO THE HOSPITAL on WEDNESDAY. 

2 MORE DAYS.

Then hopefully surgery goes good with no unexpected things popping up, and baby girl will hopefully be fine and have no problems. 

I’m so ready to meet her and see her beautiful face and for the constantly feeling like a ticking time bomb to stop. I know my anxiety will go down a ton after everything is said and done and baby girl and I are fine but there is always something to worry about. 

Currently, the girls and I are watching a show on Disney. Daddy is at work, starting tomorrow he will be off 8 days. 

I have a meeting with my doula tomorrow at 10:00AM. Then my last appointment with my OB. The girls will go to my mom and dads house tomorrow. Then who knows what my husband and I will be up to. We have a few last minute things we will have to do but after that, we will be back at home, relaxing. 

It’s getting better.  

The girls woke up at 5am today, my amazing husband went out in the living room with them and just let me continue to sleep in our room. Our oldest never went back to sleep but was laying on the couch till we all got up. 

Our oldest is feeling better but is still sick. Our youngest, took a turn for the worst yesterday and is pretty sick. She had a temp of 103.3 last night, twice. I ended up calling the nurse line just to see what they would say. I told them how when we found out about the RSV.  There were no signs of her being sick to us at at all but when our oldest tested positive for Influensa A, they said our youngest should be tested as well. It was crazy to find out she was sick because she acted like her crazy, spunky normal self. 

The nurse said that it’s probably hitting her now and from the sound of how she is, it’s hitting her hard. She said the steroid that they gave her will help but it may take a bit for that to work. It has to run its course but she may have this cough she has right now for up to 3 weeks.

Currently, my husband is gone and went to his nephews birthday party. I wish the girls weren’t sick so they could have went also but we don’t want to have them going any where at all, especially a place where so many kids are all the time and there are other sicknesses out there too. I wouldn’t want to risk the birthday boy getting RSV or Influensa A. That would be a horrible birthday present for him.

The girls are both asleep. Getting the rest they really do need right now. Our oldest hates taking naps so she was a little mad at me when I told her since her sister had fallen asleep, it was also time for her to take a nap. 

I’m laying on the couch with our youngest at my feet, sleeping comfortably. I wish she could be laying next to me but I can’t be getting sick right now. Especially since RSV can be really bad for infants. 

This has been a good day compared to yesterday and the day before that. Hopefully these last 3 DAYS go by slow and no other issues come up. I’m looking farward to seeing our baby girl one last time tomorrow before she is born. It’s like I can imagine what she will look like when we finally see her sweet face but I know I will be wrong. 

I’m hopeful that the NST and ultrasound look good becuase if the amniotic fluid is lower than it was, they may want to deliver her tomorrow instead of Wednesday. A few things will be done tonight just in case but my husband, my ob and mfm really want it to be on Wednesday. The longer she cooks, the better. Even though it would only be 2 days, I feel the same. 

Rest. Relax.

Boy. I really hope tomorrow is better. Today wasn’t half as bad as yesterday but when you have kids who both have 2 serious illnesses and only 4 days away from having a sceduled C-section, due to a complication and it being the first surgery EVER, it’s a bit overwhelming. Oh and don’t forget the hormones/emotions. Add that all together. It’s just not been a fun 2 days. 

I’m officially 36 weeks pregnant today. 4 days. Just 4 short days and our lifes will change. To me, our baby girl will have the biggest change. Going from the only place she has been, out into a cold, operating room, into the bright (hopefully a bit dim, if I can have a gentle C-section) room. 

Our older girls are going to have some changes too but I don’t think it will be bad. The love that our oldest has for her sister, is beautiful. I will never forget the moment that she held her baby sister the first time. Our now youngest, she absolutely loves babies. Everytime she is near a little baby carseat, she always wants to see the baby and loves talking to them. 

I’m heartbroken that they will not be able to come meet their sister, like we had planned. Just like this pregnancy, having this previa wasn’t in my plan. Not everything goes as planned. The past two days, definitely came as a surprise.  Like everything else, it will work out, just not according to plan. 

Not only am I worried about myself and taking it easy, even though right now it’s harder for me than it has ever been but I’m worried about our girls. I have never been away from them for more than a single night. 4 nights, is going to be rough. With them being sick, it makes it even worse for me to be away from them, even though it’s what has to be done.

Thankfully baby girl is finally being more active. Since that first sterioid shot, I felt a very big decrease in movement. She still is no where close to how she was before but it’s better than it was after the first shot. I can only hope that these shots helped her lungs mature enough that she will be able to breathe good and no other issues pop up and she doesn’t need any nicu time. 

Hopefully our girls are better before we get home because it would be so hard to keep them away from their brand new sister who they have been so excited to finally meet. My ob told us to try to get an appointment before we come so they can be tested again to see if they still test positive for Influensa A and RSV. I’m not sure if that will happen though because their doctor’s office is always booked pretty far out.

I cannot wait until this is all behind us and I can get to recovering. As much as I would love to be able to be pregnant longer so we wouldn’t have to even think about the Nicu, I wouldn’t risk it because of the CPP. It’s way too big of a risk, to me and my mfm. 

In asymptomatic women with placenta previa, clinician should consider the potential advantage of a Late Schedule Preterm Birth (LPTB) between 34 and 37 weeks. The primary advantage of earlier delivery is that it decreases the probability of a woman presenting with acute hemorrhage and the recourse to emergent cesarean delivery. 

I have faith in my mfm and the medical team that baby girl and I will have during surgery. I just really need to stay positive right now because with everything going on and it all happening at once, it’s hard. 

My grandma fell last week, broke her femor and had to have surgery to get it fixed that night. That happening so close to the big day, sucked so much because now she will have to wait to meet this baby. She is now doing good, temporarily in a nursing home getting OT and PT. I can’t wait for her to be out and have the picture taken of her, my mom and my daughters. Those pictures mean so much to me because they are priceless. 3 generations. The two women who tought me so much. I just can’t wait.

I have to tell myself that tomorrow is a new day, I can’t predict the future. Who knows what will happen tomorrow but no matter what it brings, we will get through it. One way or another.

I plan on not leaving our place at all till Monday for the NST/ultrasound then on Tuesday, I have my last OB appointment. Our girls and I need to really rest and relax right now. They need to get better and I need to be doing what my OB wants me to do. 

I’m so thankful that my husband is able to do things that need to be done. I have an itch to do it but I know I shouldn’t because I would over do it. I honestly am so thankful, lucky and blessed to have such an amazing husband. 

The big day is so close. I can’t hardly wait but then again I can. Off to bed I go. I should try to catch up on some sleep while I still can. 

Another rough day. 

Our oldest slept through the night and did not get sick at all since she went to sleep. When she woke up, it all started again and she was throwing up like last night. I called the ER and they said bring her back in now.  

We get there and waited almost 2 hours to get back to a room. The doctor came to check her out and told us that they will give her zofran for the nausea then wait to see how she does. We waited a bit and thankfully she did not get sick anymore. They gave us a prescription for that and told us we need to come back if she throws up that bad again. 

We left and got food because she finally felt like eating. Thankfully that stayed down. We are now home, and she is in her room napping. We haven’t given her the flu meds again yet because we want her to be able to rest then take it and see how she reacts to it. She can only take the nausea thing every 8 hours so we really want to get closer to that. 

It’s not been a fun day again but at least we weren’t there all day today. These girls are so tough. Seeing them like this and knowing I won’t see them for (hopefully only) 3 days, breaks my heart. The fact that they can’t come meet their sister, makes it even worse for me. I know it’s what we have to do but that doesn’t change how I’m feeling about it. 

I’m physically and mentally drained after these last two days. I hate seeing our girls like this. 

Thankfully, they are feeling better now after a nap. We still have to give our oldest the flu meds again for the night so hopefully that goes good. 

The girls and I will be taking it easy the rest of the weekend, not leaving the house because they are still sick. This is no joke. I’m not going to risk exposing other kids or adults to this because it’s horrible. My husband can go get stuff if needed but the girls are going to be home bodys till they go to my mom and dad’s house on Tuesday, to stay with them till we get home from the hospital. 

Thank god for my husband. Hes off work today, tomorrow then he may work monday. After that he will be off 8 days to be at the hospital then at home helping me and baby girl. I have no idea how I’m going to be feeling when we get home. I know it won’t be good but we will have to wait and see just how bad it will be.  

I thought I was going to make it without more issues yesterday..

But then today came and everything happened. Honestly, I’m still lucky because it could have been way worse than it was. It’s crazy how just yesterday, I was so happy that I have gotten so far without any problems becides the biggest one being CPP then today, that all changed. 

I have known the bleeding could happen at anytime, day or night. I had just gotten out of bed, sat on the couch, called our daughters school and the L&D where my OB is. Then went to the restroom and it happened.

I had gotten out of bed 10 minutes prior to this bleed, walked 10 steps or so from our room, sat on the couch then walked another few steps to the bathroom. It really just goes to show how unpredictable having a previa can be.

Since I haven’t had any bleeding since early on, I was terrified when I realized there was blood. I’m so close to the sceduled day she’s supposed to come and I bleed out of no where. 

I can’t thank everyone I came into contact with enough at the hospital, my doula, my mom and husband.  Texting my bestfriend from my husbands phone when we were at the hospital (my cell phone has been inactive since June 2017, I have no plans to turn it on again. Life is great without a cell phone attached to my hip constantly) helped me so much as well. 

I hate that I will be on bedrest until I deliver becuase I have so much I want to be doing right now. We got to the hospital it was around 9:15AM. We didn’t get out till 4:30PM. We went to get food right away because I was starving at that point. Then we had to go to my husbands work and get his check. Then the last stop was walmart to get our meds, the last minute thing I needed for myself (yay to having everything we need for our baby girl and I) and snacks for the girls when they stay with our parents while my husband and I are at the hospital.

We got home at 6:20ish. I warmed up the girls some soup because that was all our oldest wanted to eat. My husband was getting ready to go to work. He gave her the liquid meds they gave her, she took a single bite of her soup and threw up. My husband then decided it would probably be a bad idea to go to work. I looked over the papers from the pills, throwing up or nausea is a side effect of the meds she has. I’m gladI thought to look at that paper. 

The girls took a bubble bath and went to bed. She got sick a few times after that but is sleeping now and has not been up at all. Hopefully that won’t happen again. 

I’ve been off on the couch since the girls took their baths. It hasn’t even been a full day yet and I’m already tired of it. I thought me having a “limited activity” restriction was bad. Nooo. This whole “bed rest” is the worst. I’m thankful that this happened now rather than a week or a month ago but it’s still stressful.

The hospital our baby will be born at, has restrictions out, they are voluntary but make complete sense to me. We were going to be doing everything they asked people to do. The only thing was they do not want visitors under 18, but before we found out the girls were sick, they were going to be coming up with my mom and dad after baby girl was born and the golden hour was over and whenever my dad could get off work. 

I’m pretty upset that our older girls won’t get to meet their baby sister till we get home but it will be worth it in the long run. I told our oldest we would send my mom lots of pictures the whole time we are there. That made her happy.

I have been feeling better than I was but since I got that second steroid shot, baby girls movement has decreased again and changed so much, it’s way  different than it was before I got that first sterioid shot yesterday. My ob told me that it can happen in the first 24 hours after getting the sterioid shots. I’m glad she told me that. I’m still worried about her moving less but now not so much like it was this morning before I knew it was a thing that can happen. 

I need to get back to having positive thoughts like I had before all this happened. I have to keep reminding myself that the theater may be full of people who I will not know at all, but my mfm will be preforming the surgery so that makes it better. All the people in that room are there for the safety of baby and I. If any issues do pop up unexpectedly, my team will be there and they have mine and baby girls back. 

(This baby will be 36 weeks and 4 days so I’m scared she may need a bit of help from the nicu but my ob said she’s looking and doing amazing right now and we wont know about her going to the nicu or not until she is actually born)

I have no experience with the nicu but I do know that babies who are in the nicu are in the best place for them at that point in time until things are better. Nicu babies are little warriors. If our girl has to go to the NICU, she will be a fighter. 

Hopefully tomorrow is a better day. I’ll be a living, breathing, eating, couch potato but I will have to get over it.